Confessions Of An Energy Vampire

It’s time to come out of the closet and tell the truth.  I, the Paisano, am a vampire !!

Now, I’m sure those close to me have suspected it for years.  After all, they’ve never seen me near the garlic section at the local grocery store.  And I never wear the traditional crucifix around my neck as do most Italian males back in the neighborhood.  I also avoid direct sunlight when at all possible, and only drink water that comes from high in the mountains where there are no churches.  And when mirrors are more than normal height, I cast no reflection.  Beyond that, it’s rare that I enter someone‘s home without a formal invitation, or stick around long if they ask me to come in for a steak. 

Now, before you report me to Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it’s important to admit that I’m not a vampire in the Bram Stoker tradition.  So relax, there’s absolutely no chance I’ll be sneaking up on any of you to bite your neck and remove a pint of plasma.  I am, however, an “energy” vampire.  That means I siphon energy out of those among us who have plenty to spare, and who share it lovingly and with little resistance.  I’ve been feeding on this potent “essence” for years, and it’s kept me mentally young and intellectually healthy throughout.  Besides that, it has temporarily distracted me from the pathetic realities of the adult world, and helped me retain the little bit of innocence I still have. 

Now, who are these willing but unwitting “donors” to which I refer?  You guessed it.  They’re KIDS !!  I’ve said for years, that every child needs at least one old person in their life, and every old person needs at least one child in theirs.  It’s the purest symbiotic relationship of all.  From us, they receive the time, patience, and wisdom that usually comes with being at the exit ramp of our lives.  From them, we derive a special brand of unconditional love, pure energy, endless questioning, and positive appreciation of life in general.  At least that’s how it’s worked for this vampire for almost four decades in the classroom.  And that’s how it is for me now, when I go back to school and volunteer my services.

They say that every vampire is the product of another vampire’s bite.  Perhaps I was “bitten” by my Aunt (L.T.) who was a teacher when I was very young.  Maybe it was my favorite Sunday School teacher (J.D.) who always seemed at his best sharing Bible stories with our class of energetic boys.  Or maybe it was my wonderful Church Camp teacher (E.S.) who, without words, convinced me that working with children was a blessing from God.  No matter, I’m thankful that I was bitten. And I’m glad to report that over many years, the power of youthful energy that I’ve gotten from children, has never failed to make my life better.  And think of this…  It was all done without leaving a single puncture wound on anyone’s neck.