The Famous Feline Got It Right !!

As an old-timer, I don’t like to bitch and moan about this disaster society calls, “getting older.”  Doing so not only makes me appear grouchy, but lends credence to the myth that Seniors are always out of sorts and eager to rain on everyone’s parade. 

But let’s face it.  Aging is not for the faint of heart.  And all you young “whippersnappers” who ignore the fact that it’s YOUR fate, too, will hear me chuckling from the Great Beyond when years from now you have trouble getting out of a chair without groaning, or can’t figure out what to cut from your budget so you can afford that new medication that’s helping keep you alive.

Recently I received an e-mail that describes “old age” with not only blunt language and deadly accuracy, but with the borrowed authority of one who is trusted around the world for saying it like it is.  Yes, the “Cat In The Hat,” (who I figure will soon be reaching sixty himself), has cut to the descriptive heart of the issue.  And while he’s not yet MY age, he’s certainly reached those years where the sad preview of what’s ahead begins to unfold, and one's physical destiny becomes more than abundantly clear. 

The Cat In The Hat On Aging

I cannot see
I cannot pee,
I cannot chew
I cannot screw.
Oh, My Gawd, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks,
No sense of smell
I look like hell.
My mood is bad… can you tell?

My body’s drooping
Have trouble pooping,
My knees are shot
Need sleep a lot.
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass !

DISCLAIMER:  No authentic Dr. Seuss manuscript was used in the creation of this e-mail, nor can credit be given to its originator since there are 80 million of us who could have written it from first-hand experience.

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For a less irreverent view of getting older, you might like to read this:

http://theprattlingpaisano.blogspot.com/2012/02/feeling-at-home-in-ninety-nine-cent.html