Safe Harbor, Captain Phil...

This week the Discovery Channel finally broadcast the episode of “Deadliest Catch,” where Captain Phil Harris of the crabber, “Cornelia Marie,” died of complications due to a massive stroke.

One of many characters on the show, I never especially thought of him as my favorite. Even now, I can’t say he was. But there was something about him that made his death seem like a punch in the stomach. It brought out raw emotion, as if a close friend had passed away and left me standing there alone. And why I reacted that way? Well, I really don’t know for sure.

Maybe it was because I secretly admired his bravery. I marveled at how he could be so calm as angry waves as tall as skyscrapers, crashed dangerously over his wheelhouse.

It could have been that I envied how the roughest of crew members respected his leadership, and trusted his judgment in situations where both their lives and livelihood were on the line. He seemed the epitome of a “man’s man.”

Perhaps it was because he always said what was on his mind. With his gravely voice, he was blunt and direct. His choice of words could not be misinterpreted, and he showed almost disdain for discourse that even bordered on political correctness.

And maybe it was because I could tell how much he loved his boys, and would do whatever it took, including tough love, to mold them into the men he thought they should be.

It might have also been how much I admired his fighting spirit. Whether it was sailing into the face of high winds and rough seas, or conducting the last battle of his life in the hospital, he never gave up.

And most of all, perhaps it was that, when he knew he was dying and could fight no more, he struggled to clear the decks of his life before setting sail into the unknown. Struggling, he apologized to his son for not being a better dad. Then he kissed him one final time, and whispered, “I love you," words from his heart that sealed the final record.

Yes, I'll miss you, Captain Phil. And the fact that I will, is a measure of the kind of man you must have been.