Another Attack On Fortune Cookie Messages

Brace yourself!  I’m in one of those moods where if the Rapture occurred and I was the only one left on the planet, I’d feel it was almost one person too many.  Even a mild-mannered gent like myself, when forced to function in a world full of absolute blockheads, builds a level of frustration that after awhile, needs release.  So, what better way to do that non-violently ? Take  twenty more of those numbskullish, narcissistic fortune cookie messages, and tack on some grouchy sarcasm (in blue) !!

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True wisdom is found in happiness.... thus you will remain stupid the rest of your life.

Make a wise choice everyday.... and you will be unique among the jackasses with whom you associate.

Not all closed eye is sleeping, nor open eye is seeing..... nor black eye is because you didn't deserve it.

Seize every second of your life and savor it.... as the cholesterol- filled grizzle it is.

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.... blindness is art of writing stupid statements like that.

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.... because when you ultimately fail you have a built-in alibi.

When in doubt, let your instincts guide you.... understanding they cannot be used in court as a legal defense.

You will have an extremely bright future… but only if you wrap yourself in aluminum foil from head to foot.

Love is on its way.... or at least that's what you always say when you’re not getting any.

You are one of the people who "goes places in life."..... but NOWHERE is highly overrated.

We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.... or just sell the damn boat and cut our losses altogether.

Begin your life anew with strength, grace, and wonder.... why you're gullible enough to believe this crap.

You are often asked if it’s in yet..... which doesn't engender much self-confidence, right, Lover Boy?

A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life.... and quickly regretting having done so.

You create your own stage ... the audience is waiting.... to watch you make an idiot of yourself.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go where there is no path, and leave a trail.... so that the rescue squad has some idea of where to look for your dumb ass.

You believe in the goodness of mankind..... as well as unicorns, the Tooth Fairy, and that someday you're going to lose weight.

You are broad minded and socially active..... so don't abandon those monthly blood tests.

You will have many happy days soon..... as long as your medical marijuana card gets authorized.

Unleash your life force..... and let the dog that it is, run away.

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Read more fortune cookie messages from Paisano’s point of view, at these links:

http://theprattlingpaisano.blogspot.com/2013/02/fortune-cookie-messages-for-pessimists.html

http://theprattlingpaisano.blogspot.com/2011/06/fortune-cookie-messages-lets-get-real.html