Jaywalking On History Street

As you can see from this poll, Americans don’t seem to be too swift when it comes to knowing their History.  I guess it’s not surprising, since at this very moment thousands of High School students are secretly texting, tweeting, or updating their Facebook profiles beneath their schoolroom desks, as a less than engaging History teacher drones on about the “stuff” of which polls are made.

Some of the most entertaining examples of historical “faux pas” (that don’t necessitate the reading of boring polls, that is), come from the old Jay Leno “Tonight Show.”  In his classic “Jaywalkers” segment, he interviewed people on the street to find out how much they knew about History, as well as facts which fell under the category of “general knowledge.” What resulted was both hilarious and tragically sad at the same time.  Why it was so funny is demonstrated by the some of the clueless responses I’ve used as examples, below.  Why it was sad, is because unless these folks were pretending to be intellectually challenged, their answers either painted an unflattering portrait of the demise of American intellect, or the failing of the educational system in which that intelligence was allowed to die.

Anyway, real or fake, here are some of the responses that Leno got from the “Jaywalkers” he questioned on the streets of Hollywood.  If you think they’re genuine, then take a moment to slash your wrists after reading this post.  If you think they’re just attempts to be funny, raise a glass to these folks whose quick and  creative minds came up with some great late-night entertainment.

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Q:  What is the name of the ship the Pilgrims sailed on?  It’s the same name as the famous moving company.
A:  U-Haul
 
Q:  What was the Gettysburg Address?
A:  (long pause)
Q:  Have you heard of it?
A:  Sure, but I don’t know the exact address.
 
Q:  How many stars on that American flag? (points to nearby flag)
A:  It’s moving too fast to count them.
 
Q:  Finish this phrase:  “Fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers……?”
A:  Who are in Heaven…
 
Q:  What politician was called, “Tricky Dick?”
A:  Bill Clinton.
 
Q:  In what country do they speak Gaelic?
A:  San Francisco.
 
Q:  Who was the first man on the Moon?
A:  Armstrong.
Q:  What was his first name?
A:  Louie
 
Q:  What does “D.C.” stand for in Washington, D.C.?
A:  Duh capital.
 
Q:  Who fiddled while Rome burned?
A:  Fiddled with what?
 
Q:  Who lives in the Vatican City?
A:  The Vaticans.
Q:  No, he wears a big hat.
A:  Abraham Lincoln.
 
Q:  How many Commandments are there?
A:  Ten.
Q:  Can you name one?
A:  Freedom of speech.
 
Q:  What was the first major battle of the Civil War… the Battle of Bull………?
A:  Winkle
 
Q:  Who was J. Edgar Hoover?
A:  He invented the vacuum.
 
Q:  Where would you find Long John Silver?
A:  On West Third and 22nd Street.
 
Q:  Finish the name of this famous painting by Leonardo DiVinci.
“The Last……?”
A:  Straw
 
Q:  What is the opening line of the Bible?”
A:  A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…
 
Q:  Finish this sentence:  From little acorns, mighty (blanks) do grow…?
A:  Squirrels

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Note:  If you’d like to see the video from which these responses were taken, check out “The Best Of Jaywalking” found at:  www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80691723/