About Parent-Teacher Conferences

Over the years, I have taken a strong stand regarding the role of parents in their child’s education. And while schools and educators have received the closest scrutiny when it comes to accountability, parents, (as their child’s first and most important
teachers), must step up and assume much more responsibility for the overall educational experience of these young learners.

A good example of what I mean, is evidenced in the fact that many adults view parent-teacher conferences as a way to learn how their children are doing in school. That is absolutely backwards! Any parent that must go to school to learn how his or her child is doing, has been sleeping on the job!

There are always many weeks between grading periods. During that time a child should be bringing home a variety of documents from which a clear evaluation can be made as to his or her immediate classroom achievement. Teacher notes, daily assignments, graded tests and quizzes, as well as progress reports are just a few of the things that parents must scrutinize on a regular basis. And when these papers are not coming home, it’s a parent’s responsibility to find out why.

Right about now, most kids are at the halfway point in the school year. In some districts that means a mandatory teacher conference will be offered. If not, it is important for parents to understand that if they think one is needed, they have the right and obligation to their children, to request one. But remember… attending such a meeting without first having informally accessed how your student is doing, is like attending a barbeque without bringing the charcoal, the matches, or the hotdogs.

Here, then, are a few general tips to make your next parent-teacher conference of greater benefit to both you and your child.


At Parent-Teacher Conferences:

- Attend with a POSITIVE attitude. Consider it a WORK SESSION meant to either help your child improve, or help him continue to do well.

- If possible (especially with upper Elementary and older children), ask to have your child in attendance as part of the conference. This eliminates a great deal of wasted time over “he said, she said” issues, as well as the time needed to “report back” to the child about what the teacher said regarding his progress.

- Unless there’s a health consideration or negative home situation such as death, recent divorce, etc., don’t waste time sharing the details of your child’s life history. Through daily interaction, a good teacher can quickly figure out what makes a child tick . If they need additional information, they’ll usually ask.

- Don’t be overpowering in demeanor. The classroom is a teacher’s domain, so treat him with courtesy and respect. No one likes to be told how to do their job.

- Listen to the teacher’s full explanation of an issue before interrupting with questions, comments, or opinions. If it sounds like just a bunch of “educational jargon,” ask him to re-explain using language you fully understand.

- When clarification of issues is necessary, ask specific questions without sounding judgmental and/or accusatory. Even if you don’t get an answer that satisfies you fully, always conclude with the question, “How can WE work together to help (the child) succeed?”

- Accept teacher suggestions about what you can do at home to help your child. If it sounds like the teacher is asking you to teach school at home, however, let him know it EXCEEDS what you are reasonably willing or able to do considering other family obligations.

- When there’s a problem being discussed, Do NOT hesitate to ask the teacher questions such as: “What have YOU tried in class to solve this problem?” Or, “What will YOU be doing in class to help (the child) improve in this area?” Asked without emotion, these are more than fair questions. After all, teachers are responsible for trying to solve problems with children in the classroom, BEFORE running to parents for a solution.

- If a mutual plan is made to solve a problem, establish a time frame for it’s implementation. Schedule another conference for when that time period is over, in order to discuss the results and make modifications to the plan, if necessary.

- Be an advocate for your child, but do NOT offer excuses on his or her behalf. Sooner or later, every student must learn to be responsible for his own learning if he is going to be successful. And even in the Primary grades, it’s NOT too early to begin that task.