Keep Your Fingers 'Outa My Happy Meal !

Just when one hopes that politicians are working hard to come up with new ideas to help pull California out of the toilet, they once again prove they’re mostly ideologues with ADHD and questionable IQ’s.

Beyond that, this new breed of legislator seems to crave undelegated power, and expansion of the Nanny State we have come to abhor. Convinced that people like you and me need to be rescued from ourselves, they routinely continue to infringe on our personal freedoms in the name of responsible governance.

The latest political Nanny (or perhaps, “Ninny”), is a Silicone Valley elected official named Ken Yeager, who spearheaded a law to ban McDonald’s Happy Meals in unincorporated parts of the Santa Clara County. The law is based on his conclusion that, quote, “This (law) prevents restaurants from preying on children’s love of toys to peddle high calorie, high fat, high sodium kids’ meals. It breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes.”

Now, I’m no medical sociologist, so I can’t outright dismiss there might be an element of truth in what he hypothesizes. But one fact is for sure. This guy’s got major “chutzpah!” His latest legislation infringes on what has always been a parental right and responsibility… the care and feeding of one’s own offspring. And furthermore, it erodes a child’s historical and sacred right to put whatever he wants into his mouth, from whatever location he chooses to retrieve it.

I mean, let’s get real. This law wasn’t needed to combat thousands of school-aged kids who were regularly filching cash from their Mom’s purse, then purloining the family vehicle to drive to McDonald’s with friends to gorge themselves on Happy Meals. And it wasn’t because the toys included in each box were of such retail or emotional value, that those kids were willing to blow four bucks of their ill-gotten loot to get four cents worth of colorful plastic.

Kids eat Happy Meals because their significant adults take them to McDonald’s. Nowhere is there documented evidence that any child has ever been involuntarily dragged there by a parent, kicking and screaming, and under direct threat of physical harm if they didn’t order and eat everything in that happy little box.

Come on! Dining out is part of the fabric from which most American families are made. And, in my opinion, Mr. Yeager is a pesky, bureaucratic moth who’s hard-wired to gnaw holes in whatever fabric he finds exposed.

Should parents be more vigilant when it comes to the weight of their kids? Certainly! It’s an important health and “quality of life” issue. But, if they choose to raise a gaggle of Wide Load Weebles, it’s not going to be because the family camps out at a local McDonald’s cramming Happy Meals down their throats seven days a week. It’ll be due to the fact they’re living a personal lifestyle that needs basic caloric adjustment and menu modification, starting at HOME.

This is what I think. “Snoopervisor” Yeager’s attempt to legislate better child health by banning the Happy Meal, will have zero net impact. He would have had a better shot by sponsoring a strict new labeling law, instead. Such a statute could have mandated that any child’s meal sold with more than 485 calories, be marketed as a “Crappy Meal.” This way, at least kids would burn up a few calories laughing their asses off as they placed their orders.