Chopping Away At Bad Word Choice

As a lover of words, I understand I’m probably oversensitive to the level of bad language one hears these days as humans try to communicate with each other. No, I’m not talking about what might seem obvious… the use of obscene or vulgar vocabulary so common today. I’m not even talking about the new script so much a part of the texting and tweeting scene, you know… that veritable mish-mash of fractured sentences and abbreviated word snippets that still make old-school lexophiles like me cringe.

No, I’m talking about a specific linguistic travesty that desecrates our ears more and more these days. And it’s become so common that most people no longer even flinch when it’s bandied about in everyday conversation. What’s more, it’s been insulated from ridicule by people who push the theory it has “ethnic” roots, thus is culturally valid and off limits to those who might want to label it as a sign of illiteracy. And even teachers have avoided facing it head on, mainly because it’s not on the year-end standardized test, and would constitute a waste of precious “test prep” time trying to correct in their students. Shame on them!

Anyway, this rant was ignited by a “so called” educated young lady’s appearance on a recent television program. Two minutes into the interview, the following sentence came out of her mouth: “It’s something everyone should AX before they apply.” AX??? How in the hell could anyone use this word to replace the verb “ask,” then sit there smugly beaming about her prestigious college education, and the “cream of the crop” sorority in which she held elected office?

I guess it’s a sign of the times. We live in an era where picky issues like incorrect word usage, and the slow degradation of our rich language, in general, seems unimportant in the overall scheme of things. And to make it worse, rather than fight back and rail against such verbal contaminants, the “sell out” choice of most people is to quietly acquiesce, then end up embracing the anomaly as our new truth.

I especially take strong issue with those who say the substitution of “ax” for “ask” is an impossible habit to break. My disagreement stems from the fact that I have actually gotten kids in the classroom to correct this blatant error in their everyday speech. Of course, it wasn’t accomplished by me teaching brilliant lessons on the basic use of the correct English. And it wasn’t snuffed out by me nagging them whenever the word “ax” came out of their mouths in error. It was taught using tongue-in-cheek humor, one of the most effective teaching weapons a good teacher can wield.

For example, if a child came up to me and said, “Can I “ax” you something, Mr. Paisano?” my response might be, “Sure, but you‘re going to have to clean up all the mess after I stop bleeding.” Initially, of course, I’d clarify my comment by reminding him that an “ax” was a sharp, long handled tool meant to chop things down rather than “ask” about them. But from then on, every time the mistake was made I’d come back with a similarly wacky response made up on the spur of the moment.

If I was told that someone “axed” him something, I would look concerned and say, “Are you badly cut? I’d be glad to send you down to the nurse so she can bandage you up.” Or I’d say, “You know, he could get in big trouble bringing a dangerous weapon like that to school.“ With relentless hard headedness, then, I painted the mental picture of an ax being a tool to inflict serious bodily injury, and a word used to describe interaction with a tree, not other human beings.

On the few occasions I was caught off guard and unable to instantly come up with a new “ax” response, I turned to Drama as my teaching tool of choice. The moment the offending word was uttered, I’d slowly back away from the student with a look of terror on my face. And if a chair was nearby, I might even pull it between myself and the student as if needing it for protection. This non-verbal shtick worked just as effectively in getting my linguistic point across. Not only that, it got quite a few laughs from those in the peanut gallery.

Anyway, over time these techniques worked. Students began stopping themselves before “ax” popped out of their mouths and chopped away at my verbal sensibilities for the day. And, with a sheepish smile, they proudly inserted the word “ask” where it belonged in the sentence… a simple correction that made my heart glad. For now there was a good chance that years hence, those students would not be excluded from an important job interview or opportunity for advancement, simply because they sounded uneducated and from the wrong side of the tracks.